By Matt Orgovan
When I became a member of the Mission and Heritage Commission in the fall of 2007, I was dealing with some inner struggles that I couldn’t quite get a handle on.  Though things in my life at the time were better than I could have imagined, I nonetheless felt a sense of sadness, a touch of depression and random anxiety attacks that made me feel like I was living life in a haze.  I kept saying, “Get a grip, Matt.  Things are great right now.  Snap out of it.”

I did my best to not let it affect my work or interactions with others.  I think I did a pretty good job in that regard.  The support of my wonderful fiancée, Joanna, and others, and being a part of the Mission and Heritage Commission helped me navigate through that unexpected state of what I perceived as helplessness. Anyone who has struggled with anxiety or depression knows it can be a scary place.

Yet, looking back through my mission journal, I came across a phrase from the introduction of St. Angela’s counsels that has stuck with me in one form or another since I first read it and it’s really helped me along the way.  It says, “Have hope and firm faith in God, who will help you in all things.” I’m a big baseball fan, and I sometimes talk in baseball metaphors, so I consciously try to remember that quote as I face all of the curveballs...and even the slow homerun pitches that life throws us all minute by minute.

Having a group to listen to, to share ideas with and to meditate with has made me more aware of and in touch with sentiments like this.  God has a plan for all of us. We may struggle with certain stages of that plan. We may ask, “Why this, now?” If everything seems to pile on at once, we may ask, “How am I going to handle this?”  Certain stages of the plan may cause us to jump up and cheer or, as Tiger Woods frequently does, pump our fist in the air.  Whether we want a certain stage of this plan or not, it really helps to just sit back, step out of the box and look at the situation objectively and remember, God has a plan.  You do all you can in life; the rest is in His hands.  When overwhelmed by those unhittable pitches, try the best you can to make contact. That’s all you can do.  And when you get that straight, slow meatball of a pitch, hit it out of the park.  But, remember when the latter happens, don’t gloat or boast, just thank God and enjoy the moment. 

Another phrase I love goes hand in hand with the quote I referenced by St. Angela and sounds something like this: “The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you.”  Through the Mission and Heritage Commission, my spirituality and relationship with God has evolved.  I think about spiritual quotes like those two more often.  I am more aware of the fact that while I can control many things in my life, ultimately it is He who calls the shots.  God’s blueprint for me will end with a cozy spot with him up above.  That’s all I need to know.

I will continue to keep in my thoughts the wonderful community of Ursulines.  They have been such a support to me personally and to VASJ.  God has a plan for me.  It’s in his hands.  I know that.  I was recently thrown a curveball. I accept this and I will do the best I can to hit it out of the park.