The Soft Eyes of LoveJune 16, 2026

The Soft Eyes of Love

When reading a recent post on Substack by Parker J. Palmer, “Looking at Life with Soft Eyes,” I was attracted to his exploration of the concept of soft eyes vs. hard eyes. He begins with the poem “Monet Refuses the Operation” by Lisel Mueller to illumine this image. In the poem Mueller writes in the voice of Monet explaining to his doctor why he prefers seeing (and painting) the world the way he now sees it with failing eyesight.

“Doctor, you say there are no haloes around the street lamps in Paris

And what I see is an aberration

Caused by old age, an affliction.

I tell you it has taken me all my life

To arrive at the vision of gas lamps as angels, to soften and blur and finally banish

The edges you regret I don’t see, . . .

Palmer points out that most of us look at life through “hard eyes,” eyes that are slits and seek out threats to our existence. Those who can see the world through “soft eyes” as Monet does have developed the skill of looking at the hidden potentials in people and life, gifts that can be nurtured and shared. They see connections, oneness. Those with “soft eyes” can likewise often view themselves with acceptance despite their mistakes.

Palmer also draws upon the essay, “Soft Eyes,” in which Andrea Mignolo explains, “Soft eyes is a way of looking at the world with wide open awareness. . . . the act of softening our eyes transforms our entire body into an instrument of receiving.” (methodandmatter.com) This stance heals whereas using hard eyes takes us down a path that often leads to mistrust and judgment.

As I ponder these two types of eyes through which I gaze, I reflect on these questions:

• Which type of “eyes” do I usually use? Has my way of seeing become a habit? Is it a good habit or does it lead me astray?
• If I scrunch up my eyes and peer out, how does that action change my perception?
• If I relax and look out calmly, taking in the whole, how do I see differently?
• Do I look at myself with “soft eyes” or “hard eyes”?
• When do I use my “hard eyes” to look at another person/challenge? My “soft eyes”?
• With what eyes does Jesus look at me?

Sister Virginia DeVinne