An Examination of Conscience for the Spoken WordMarch 23, 2026

An Examination of Conscience for the Spoken Word

“Before you speak, let your word pass through three gates. At the first gate ask yourself, “Is it true?” At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?” At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?” Rumi

The thirteenth century mystic and poetu Rumi has gifted us with plentiful wisdom that still speaks to our present-day world. His approach is gentle yet firm, a call to respect and nurture ourselves and others. In this quotation he challenges us to engage in a three-step reflection before we respond to another person. This practice is a valuable one that can enhance the nature of our interactions.

How many times do we speak without regard for the integrity of our response? This can happen inadvertently due to haste but it can also occur in the heat of the moment to score a point. We can easily speak half-truths telling ourselves that a little white lie is not going to make any difference.

By the same token, how many times do we speak unnecessary words that provoke anger or impatience instead of promoting harmony? We may even be unaware that we do this. Then again we may tell ourselves that it’s important to repeat our views to insure the other hears exactly what we’ve said because it’s for their own good.

Is it kind? Perhaps this is the most important of the three questions. If we’ve been able to answer the first two affirmatively, it’s the last that is the real measure of how we care for others. Kindness is often in how we say something more than in the words although the words are important too. The tone of voice, the attentive expression, the carefully chosen expression contribute to the quality of kindness.

Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? Three gates: a threefold examination of conscience to guide our speech. If we learn to practice it we will be living out the twofold commandment of Jesus – love God and love your neighbor as yourself – in our spoken word.

Sister Virginia DeVinne